|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In the best of all worlds, the two families will be supportive and nurturing to the children, opening up new vistas of experience, providing more interaction, and adding significant people to the children's lives. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
No matter how well-intentioned everyone is, there are some dos and don'ts that can help the process of adjustment and integration. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Helping Your Children Adapt to Living in Two Homes |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Children handle life better when they are faced with predictable situations and environments, although occasional disruptions are tolerated, and some stress is actually beneficial for children. Your children have been through, or are about to go through, a severe disruption in their livesyour divorce and the division of their family. Now they need a period of calm and time to adjust to their new family rearrangement. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The goal is for the children to feel at home and comfortable whether they are with their mom or dad. The parent who moved out of the marital home should do everything possible to create another home for the children. Everyone needs his or her own space. A room of the children's own decorated with their input will give them a sense of home. Even if you can't afford an extra room, an area carved out from your one-room apartment will do. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Jack went to his local Home Depot after he moved out of the house in anticipation of his kids' first time at his new apartment. He bought three blue cardboard dressers that worked just fine for temporary furniture for his kids. He bought Winnie-the-Pooh wall stickers for Jeremy and Mickey Mouse wall stickers for Katie. He had already purchased bunk beds that would go in the room where they would sleep. A round night table and lamps to match the stickers were the finishing touch. Jack was handy, so he built shelves for books and toys. When the kids came over for the first time, they were thrilled to see their favorite characters on the walls. They all baked cookies together after dinner. After a call to their Mom, Jack read them stories and put them to bed. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You're Not My Mother/Father! Kids Dealing with Stepparents |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
What if, after you are divorced, you plan to marry someone who already has children? In this case, your children have to accept the fact that you and your ex-spouse will never be reunited, that you have a new spouse, and that they will have new stepbrothers or stepsisters. That is a lot to digest! So go slowly and proceed with caution. |
|
|
|
|
|