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Indeed, it only makes sense that the person who initially made the decision comes to accept the reality of divorce sooner, having lived with the decision for quite a while. |
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That individual is a little bit more advanced; they have been working through their initial feelings of acceptance, of realization that the relationship is over, says Baris. The sadness, the sense of failure, has begun to fade, and he or she has already begun to envision the single lifewhether as a single parent or as a single individual. By the time that person has announced a desire to divorce to a spouse, the idea of separation has already been worked through. The rejected individual, on the other hand, is typically several months behind in terms of working through the grief. |
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In most situations, both eventually accept the new reality, although for the rejected person, there may be scars. Ideally, in time, both will become centered in themselves and be able to create a new lifestyle that includes an active social life, new friendships, and even romance. |
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Those who remain stuck in a morass of anger, self-pity, and self-imposed isolation may be helped by psychotherapy; through therapy, they should come to understand that they are just as valuable as their spouse and any other living soul. The right counselor can do wonders for someone who needs to change his or her view of the world, embrace creativity in life, and, most important, start feeling good! |
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