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Constructive Approaches to Bargaining and Compromise |
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It's difficult to negotiate for yourself, particularly when emotions are involved the way they tend to be in a divorce. For many couples, trying to negotiate is like reliving the worst moments of the marriage. After all, if the two of you got along well enough to work out a divorce, you might not be divorcing in the first place. Does this mean you have to abandon all hope and leave everything to the attorneys? Not necessarily. Here are some tips that may help you reach a settlement without going to court: |
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1. Never present your bottom line early in the negotiations. It may sound childish, but it happens to be true. In the United States, when you're negotiating, you're not expected to present your bottom line first, and if you do, you've short-changed yourself. |
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2. Argue issues, not positions. It may sound obvious, but it isn't always. For example, you and your spouse are discussing who will pay for your children's college educations. Your spouse says the two girls will go to state schools. You say they'll go to the best school they get into. The two of you are arguing positions, not issues. The issue is the cost of college and how you'll finance it. |
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