|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mediation: An Act of Hope |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In a nutshell, mediation is the process in which you and your spouse settle the issues of your divorce yourselves, with the help of a single, trained mediator. Typically, you and your spouse will meet with the mediator for as many sessions as necessary to resolve the issues of your divorce. If your primary dispute is in the area of child custody, the mediator will focus on that. If you can't agree on virtually anything, the mediator may take many sessions working through one issue at a time. When all issues are resolved to everyone's satisfaction, the mediator will draft an agreement setting forth each partner's rights and responsibilities. Each spouse then brings the agreement to an attorney to review. If the lawyers find no questions or problems with the document, one attorney drafts the requisite paperwork and submits it to the court so that the divorce can proceed. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In certain circumstances, for certain people, mediation can be ideal. Many people like the concept of sitting down and resolving differences like two mature adults. They value the fact that, even in their darkest hour as a couple, they can sit down and talk to each other face to face instead of interacting solely through their attorneys. Mediation usually takes place in a friendlier setting than legal meetings. In a more relaxed environment, more might be accomplished. People also like the price of mediation; depending on the mediator's fee and the issues of the divorce, the cost could be a fraction of that paid to attorneyseven if each member of the couple sends documents to personal lawyers for review afterward. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
As a process, mediation is also more flexible than the legal protocols that guide lawyers and courts. For example, you can set the pace of mediation sessions to correspond with your personal emotional and logistical needs. After you enter the legal system, however, deadlines are part of the territory. They are imposed not just by individual judges, but also by the system's mandate to move things along. Finally, mediation may sometimes work better even for the calculating among us. Because mediators usually meet with both spouses at once, it's easier, during these sessions, to grasp just where the other is coming from. After all, you cannot read body language or facial expressions when your only communiqués come from the whir of a lawyer's fax machine. This may be a plus for those who can just tell when their spouse is bluffing, or when he or she won't budge. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
When Mediation Works Best |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Despite the advantages, mediation is not for everyone. The system works best when you and your spouse have mutually agreed you want a divorce, when each of you is fully informed of the other's assets and debts, and when, despite some disputes, both are flexible and eager to work it out and end life together as amicably as they can. |
|
|
|
|
|