|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mediation also works best when the mediator is able to remain impartial and when you and your spouse are convinced of that impartiality. One lawyer tells us the most common reason clients give for having left mediation is the feeling that the mediator had begun to favor the other spouse. Mediation also works best when there are no immediate needs that have to be resolved and can only be resolved with a judge's help. For example, if your spouse has cut off support and refuses to reinstate it, you can't afford the luxury of meeting once a week with a mediator to try to resolve the issue. You need a lawyer to race into court and ask a judge to order your spouse to resume supporting you, now. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Finally, mediation works best when the two parties are relatively equally situated; that is, neither is a totally domineering and controlling person, but both are mentally and physically able to participate in the give-and-take of mediation. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
When Mediation Is Verboten |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Although wonderful in concept, mediation could be a disaster in certain situations. Even if you passed the quick elimination quiz, take time to review the following list. As you consider your response to the questions, you may conclude that mediation is not for you. |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
1. If you and your spouse are not talking, mediation sessions are not the time to start, and mediation is probably not for you. Remember, the mediator is not a marriage counselor, but rather, a conflict resolution specialist whose job it is to help the two of you address and resolve issues. If you're not even talking, there's not much the mediator can do. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
2. If you or your spouse harbor extreme feelings of anger, mediation probably won't work either. |
|
|
|
|
|
