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If there is some legitimate basis to your feeling, do not sign the agreement. Seek advice from an attorney. On the other hand, if the real problem is that you're just not ready to end the marriage, or you still hold the faint glimmer of hope that the marriage can be saved, you need to discuss these feelings with a therapist. The truth may be that you'll never be ready to sign an agreement, no matter how fair. If you are consciously or subconsciously subverting the negotiation process, don't take comfort in the thought that your spouse won't be able to get a divorce. You will simply be laying the groundwork for a litigated divorce. If you are in this situation, a consultation with a mental health professional may help you avoid the economic and emotional stress and time of going to court. |
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Arbitration is sometimes confused with mediation, but it's really quite different. In arbitration, an individualthe arbitratorhears your case outside the court system and makes a decision that usually cannot be appealed. As in a court of law, you and your spouse would generally be represented by a lawyer, and depending on the arbitrator, he or she may even insist that the rules of evidence in your jurisdiction be followed by the book. |
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The arbitration itself usually takes place in an office, around a conference table. In many ways, arbitration is like going to court; but unlike court, where you can appeal, the arbitrator's word is final. |
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Unlike lawyers, arbitrators do not make an effort to settle the case. They certainly do not do what mediators doidentify issues and then help you resolve them together. Instead, an arbitrator is more like a judge. You come to the table (with your lawyer) ready to present your side. The issues, whatever they may be, have already been determined by you and your lawyer. You must present the arbitrator with your position on those issues and argue your case as cogently as you can. |
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Given the restrictions, why would anyone ever choose to go into arbitration rather than to a judge? The reasons, for some, are compelling: |
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1. Depending on where you live, it could take as long as a year to go before a judge, whereas an arbitrator might be readily available. |
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2. You and your spouse may both feel that neither of you will appeal, no matter what the outcome. Maybe you have no more money, or you simply can't withstand another round of litigation. Because you're not going to appeal, arbitration has no downside. |
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3. Arbitration may be cheaper than a regular trial. In some jurisdictions, trials do not take place day after day until they are finished. Rather, the judge may have one day |
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