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than others, that your ideas are necessarily better. If you want honest feedback in your position of power, you'll have to work hard for it. |
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Tip 21: If as a powerful person you want to build rapport with others, remove the status symbols and power barriers. |
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Be aware of the kind of power you have with different groups. You have reward power if you can somehow positively influence what will happen to another person. You have coercive power if you can negatively influence another's future. You have positional power if by your position as boss or director or police officer or flight attendant you can force your will upon another. You have expert power over someone if you have knowledge they need. You have referent power over people if you can influence through your personality. Being aware of these power pockets forces you to take your interactions with certain people more seriously. They will. |
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If you want to minimize this power and relate to others on equal footingif you want an honest opinion from them that they may be reluctant to giveyou have to remove the status reminders. You may want to sit beside them, not across the desk from them. You may want to arrive at the cocktail party in your own car, not in a limo. You may want to take off your name badge and introduce yourself by name and forget the title. You may want to join them in the lounge rather than invite them to the country club. |
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Rapport-building hinges on such small steps. |
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Tip 22: Assess others' knowledge and experiences exactly. |
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If you assume your listeners are more knowledgeable than they are, they may misunderstand your message, give up on trying to understand your explanations, or become frustrated or angry because they think you're "putting on airs." |
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A VP at a large oil company attended a session where he'd asked the controller to explain to the first-line supervisors and managers how to complete a specific form justifying their annual budget requests. During the opening session, the controller illustrated the budget form using a figure of several million dollars for purchase of equipment. At the break, the vice president wisely took the controller aside and asked her to lower the dollar amounts so as not to make the supervisors feel small because their responsibilities did not involve such large expenditures. That vice president picked up on an important subtlety. |
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