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On the other hand, you can err in the opposite direction. If you assume your listeners know less than they actually do, you may insult their intelligence, bore them, or waste their time on already-known information. You want to meet them exactly at their knowledge and interest level. To do that, ask yourself five questions: What's their primary interest in this situation/event/issue? How much do they already know and from what likely source and perspective have they received information? How will they use this information for themselves? Why would they want to know this? What reaction will they have to the subjectskepticism and doubt, loss of face, defensiveness, support? These answers will help you reach them appropriately eye to eye. |
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Tip 23: Set a level playing field. |
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Before you speak, make sure what you're about to say doesn't contain words or phrases that imply your superiority to the other person. Example: "I want you to meet Jana Jones, who works for me" versus "I want you to meet Jana Jones, who works with me." Example: "Haven't I told you about bothering me with those kinds of details?" versus "I'd prefer that you handle those kinds of details without involving me." Example: "I try to spend as much time abroad as possible when my job allows'' versus "I like to travel when I have the time." |
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Tip 24: Avoid coming across as a one-directional communicator. |
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That is, you don't want to get a reputation as a "teller." Several months ago I was standing in a trade-show booth when a man walked up, stuck out his hand to shake mine, and began: "My name's _____. I notice we're competitors here at the show. We've got a booth over the way, booth number 399. You probably remember that Ford RFP that came out about four months ago. Well, if you're wondering about it, we've got it sewed up. I understand you people bid on it. That was really a formality, because one of the VPs there had already made contact with us and wanted us in. That was an easy sale for us. You know what I mean? Don't you wish all of them were that easy? It's going to be a big contract. Three hundred thousand before they're through. Well, nice to meet you. Just wanted to stop by and say hello." |
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All of this came out without his ever taking a breath and without my ever having an opportunity (or inclination) to cut in and respond. Don't be a hit-and-run speaker. |
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