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TIP 25: Avoid a reputation as a manipulator. |
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People with strong personalities at times take advantage of less able communicatorsor those with no goal for a particular conversation or meeting. They manipulate others before they realize what's happening to them. They outsmart people by seducing them with flirting. They deceive them with misused facts. They pretend to feel something they don't. They shame others into acting against their best interests. They dominate others through sheer tone. They play martyr when it suits them. They tempt others with unkept promises and false power. Over time, such tactics work against the people who use them. |
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Tip 26: Be interested, not just interesting. |
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The heart of the principle involves putting aside self-interests long enough to devote attention to someone else. Yes, we are attracted to life-of-the-party people because they amuse us. But interested people win us. They make us want to stick to them like glue. Nothing is so flattering as to have someone show personal interest in our job, our background, our experience, or our views. |
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Tip 27: To express interest in someone, soften whatever it is you're doing. |
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Soften you voice, soften your tone, soften your smile, soften your posture, soften your touch, soften your eye contact, soften your nod. Softening communicates openness. |
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Tip 28: Use radical language to be a leader. |
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You have to shake people out of complacency to lead them in a new direction. You have to be clearly focused to inspire followship. You have to intrigue others to tempt them to make a change with you. |
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Tip 29: Have a sense of the dramatic when you talk. |
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Would you rather have someone tell you about a movie or see it for yourself? So would I. We like actionin the voice, in the face, in the body, in the scene. Add a funny twist to the story. Use description to set the scene. Add |
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