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Tip 32: Keep in mind that being logical may be ineffective. |
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Communication involves the emotions as well as the intellect. Emotional arguments have proved very successful where logic has failed to move people. An appeal to someone's self-interest may ensure more buy-in than a logical explanation of fairness to all concerned. |
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Tip 33: Visualize the end, and then construct the means. |
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Decide what reaction you want from your audience, then decide how to structure your message to get that reaction. Do you want your audience to be emotional about the decision? Then choose anecdotes and stories to bring them to commitment and action. Do you want them to come to a rational conclusion? Then choose facts and logic to develop your idea. Do you want them to get involved personally in implementing your plan? Then apply your ideas to the work in their own departments. Picture the goal line and then decide how to develop your idea to get people there. |
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Tip 34: Pay attention to the meta-message. |
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Gerard Nierenberg coined the term "meta-message" to describe those messages that come through between the lines; they come from the context, the relationship, the timing, the purpose, and the person speaking. For example, Susan calls her colleague Jack for the third time in one day. She says, "Hi, it's me again." He responds: "I'm working on the Caliver report; it's due in half an hour." His message is not intended as an update on the progress. His words and tone mean: "Why are you bothering me again? I don't have time to talk now.'' |
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Another example: A husband comes home with a new sports car. The wife asks: "Why did you buy that car?" He responds: "The gas mileage is as good as anything else on the road." Her tone and words didn't ask for his reasons for the purchase. Given their earlier conversation about his being selfish and never considering her opinions, she meant, "Why do you disregard me and not include me in your decisions?" |
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If you've ever wondered why someone responds negatively to "positive" words, consider the meta-message. A senior executive walks into a meeting and says, "Sorry to keep you waiting. A call came through from London that I simply had to take." Another executive in the corner may greet the late-arriver's apology with a scowl; to him, the meaning was: "I outrank you and have the power to keep you waiting." |
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