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Analyzing/diagnosing. "The contract did not really call for an August 1 deadline. You, as manager, selected that date. Was your intention to test our commitment? To force us to abandon our quality procedures?" "Why are you saying that to me?" "You know, the reason you're feeling that way is that you're insecure within yourself." |
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Dogmatic. "We will lose the business if we miss that first deadline." "It can't be done that way." "You're wrong." ''It has to be blue." |
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Dramatic/effusive. "We kill ourselves and you're still not pleased." "This is the stupidest plan we've ever usedthere's not a company on earth that could meet that deadline." "Either give me an answer today, or I quit." "I wouldn't transfer her out of here for a million dollars; she knows all there is about inventory management." |
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Straightforward/leveling. "I'm disappointed that we missed the deadline. I had two people helping and thought that would be sufficient, but evidently it wasn't. We need to hire more help." |
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Do you recognize any of the above as a habitual style of yours? If so, is that the way you intend to come across? |
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Tip 37: Avoid a patronizing tone. |
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Patronizing people sound as though they're doing you a favor to enlighten you on the subject. Whether such a person knows anything on the subject or not, he or she always expresses an opinionand makes those with more expertise feel stupid for bothering to have such expertise. People get a strong urge to argue with this individual, even if they don't disagree, because of that person's superior, haughty manner. |
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Tip 38: Don't talk down to peopleeven kids. |
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Instructional manuals that contain statements such as these make users think they were written for an idiot. If so, the idiot certainly wouldn't be reading the manual! "Plug the appliance into the electrical socket." Or: "Accidents frequently happen." |
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Tip 39: Avoid moralizing. |
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We like "lessons," but generally not when they come from someone who adopts a mother-superior tone. Employee: "We found four widgets that had the threads stripped." Manager: "Every time you skip the inspection, you have things like that happen. Your people are careless." |
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