|
|
|
|
|
|
|
A habitual, moralizing response grates against people's sensitivities, particularly if the message comes from peers. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 40: Hear silence as it's intended. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
There's the old adage, "Silence is consent." People who believe that are in for a big disappointment. When you make a statement that's met with silence, it can have several meanings: |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
1. The person is reflecting on what you said and considering your opinion. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
2. The person is in complete agreement and thinks no response is necessary. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
3. The person thinks he or she understands (and is unaware of not understanding) what you said. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
4. The person agrees and intends to act immediately. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
5. The person agrees but has no intention of acting. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
6. The person is too angry to speak. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
7. The person is reflecting on what you said and rejecting your opinion. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8. The person is too overcome with revulsion to speak. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9. The person is giving you an immediate rebuke. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10. The person wasn't listening and is nodding with his or her mind in neutral. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11. The person hears you, is confused, but doesn't want to appear ignorant by asking you to elaborate further on something you think is perfectly clear. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
12. The person is so confused that he or she doesn't know how to ask for clarification. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
13. The person is in a state of shock. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
14. The person is depressed. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
15. The person is stalling. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
16. The person feels too powerless to respond. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you want to confirm what the other person's silence means, stick around long enough to read further body language or hear further comments to get confirmation. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Making a statement in a staff meeting that is greeted with silence can mean total opposition or total agreement. Better to find out which than to have the project, policy, or procedure sabotaged later. It's up to you, the talker, to probe for meaning of the silence. |
|
|
|
|
|