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or your time. And for the bigger issues, you can ask the age-old question, "If I had only six months to live, would I take on this project?" That thinking will help you focus on the important, time-consuming, life-changing commitments. |
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Unfortunately, everything else falls in between the definite yeses and the definite nos. If your most distressing indecision about your time and your money come at work, take some time every few months to focus on your own career and personal goals. Write them down. That list will help you focus and weed out the requests that deserve a "no" response. |
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Tip 545: Recall the three ways to say "No," and make a conscious choice. |
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You can say "no" with an uncaring attitude: "No way will I let you borrow my car. Go rent one yourself." You can say "no" passively, hiding behind an excuse that is not the real reason. ''I can't. My manager has me so involved in another project that I can't look up." Or you can say "yes" and do "no." That is, you can seem agreeable and agree to do something and then not come through at the last moment. The last way is the easiestat the time. But in the long run you disappoint the person more deeply and often cause more severe problems than an honest, earlier "no." |
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Tip 546: Ask for time to think. |
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Don't say "no" simply because you have been caught off guard and can't phrase the negative in a tactful, acceptable way. Even if you know you intend to say "no," it's perfectly acceptable to ask for time to think about your wording. "Let me think about that and get back to you." "Nos" rarely have to be immediate. |
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Tip 547: Forewarn people when you have devastating news. |
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When delivering an unexpected bad-news message that will certainly be a shock to someone's emotional system, warn that person by simply saying the words. "I'm going to have to give you some bad news." Such an outright statement lets people prepare physically and emotionally for the upset. During this adjustment time, their bodies make the necessary preparation for handling the shock. |
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