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Sincerity comes through in tone, body language, and word choice. For example, your boss stands with hands on hips facing you with a grimace: "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you the due date was tomorrow. I've got fifteen irons in the fire, okay? Griping about working late isn't going to get it done any faster." |
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Sincerity sounds like this: (Boss standing beside you with dejected, downcast eyes) "I'm sorry. I should have told you the due date was tomorrow. John told me and I failed to pass it on. What can I do to help you get it done?" |
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Tip 571: Reestablish rapport on a neutral subject. |
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Like lovers who kiss and make up, coworkers or friends need to "sign off" on the difficulty and move ahead. A good way to do that is to make an additional comment or two on a neutral subject before ending the conversation. That final effort on a new topic, or at least an unrelated detail of the current topic, serves as the final handshake and puts a relationship back to normal. This closure helps to prevent any awkwardness at the next encounter. |
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Tip 572: Avoid apologizing to gain sympathy. |
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The too-frequent apologizer is a second cousin to the person with low self-esteem who continually delivers put-downs in hopes that the other person will refute them with a compliment. Bleed according to the pain caused. If your actions or words caused severe problems, apologize profusely. If your actions or words caused only a minor inconvenience that was understandable in the circumstances, a brief apology will do. People who apologize too frequently sound as egotistical (centered on self, even if with a poor self-esteem) as those who never apologize for fear of appearing weak. |
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Tip 573: Consider apologies an important way to build rapport. |
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Researchers tell us women tend to apologize more often than men. Why? Because women enhance their self-esteem from their relationships. When relationships are broken, women feel the impact more severely. Men, on the other hand, may apologize in a more matter-of-fact, take-it-or-leave manner. They consider it a ritual more than pinpointing of fault. Others think apologizing weakens them or puts them in a less powerful position. They may think others will lose respect for them, they'll be made to "jump through hoops" if they own up to the error, and if they pretend nothing has |
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