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In addition to the obvious benefit of knowing preferences, when such discussions become inevitable, you can remind them of this earlier conversation and point out that you've tried to comply with their preferences. That in itself sets forth a caring, but matter-of-fact, situation. |
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Tip 577: Realize the stress of hearing "I'd Like a Word with You." |
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Do anything you can to reduce, not create, more stress for the person about to receive criticism. Keep your tone as matter-of-fact as possible, without the high school principal effect. At the beginning of the conversation, preface your remarks to let the person know the severity of the discussion. If your discussion is going to end in a formal reprimand, you don't want to start off with chitchat. But if the criticism is a one-issue agenda and of the more routine nature, say so at the beginning. "Kate, I'd like to take about twenty minutes to talk to you about the way we're shuffling these packing slips between departments. I want to share with you my perspectives and get yours and see if we can come up with a better process." |
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In other words, lay out an overview of the parameters of the discussion, the time involved, and the hoped-for outcome. Take the pressure off about the unknown so the person can concentrate on the major problem and resolution, minus the anxiety. |
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Tip 578: Watch the red-pencil mentality. |
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This term used by Sidney Simon in Negative Criticism refers to what some seem to perceive as their mission on earthto point out all the errors for all the world to see. This attitude becomes a compulsion, like a housewife who can't pass a picture frame without straightening it. Before you're tempted to red-pencil somebody, try to recall the sense of pride with which you turned in an English composition that had been typed with perfect margins and appropriate commas. Do you remember the disappointment when the professor passed your graded paper down the row for all to see your errors cast in red ink? Why do that to people? Is the criticism really worth voicing? |
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Tip 579: Separate fact from opinion as you gather your thoughts and information. |
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"Jill, you're lazy" is opinion. "Jill, you have processed only 28 application forms today; your quota is 48" is fact. Particularly if the "facts" are coming from another department, make sure you probe enough to distinguish |
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