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which is which. Did the customer actually say that Stan hung up on her, or did the customer say Stan was rude? Did Bill say the report was too late to do any good, or did Bill say the report was submitted three days late? |
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Know which is whichfact or opinionand be ready to point out the difference. The receiver of criticism will seldom dispute facts, but will often ask for support of opinion. In either case, you want to be able to cite the appropriate information. |
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Tip 580: Make sure you know what you're talking about. |
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Ask yourself if you have all the facts, figures, and circumstances of a situation before you bumble into a hornet's nest to offer criticism. You'll back out of such a discussion with a big sting if you haven't done the preliminary investigation. Even then, double-check. It's too easy to put three facts together and come to the wrong conclusion. |
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Tip 581: Screen yourself before being "Frank" and "Telling the Truth." |
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The "truth" will not necessarily change the worldor another person. Remember that "truth" is often subjective, and "frankness" may be a code word for insult. Examine your motives for criticizing. Determine the intentions of the person who "needs the truth." Then consider discretion. What are your ultimate goals for your relationship with this person? The greater priority may be preserving that relationship rather than preventing a reoccurrence of some minor incident. |
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Tip 582: Consider the positive results of the exchange: Improved mental outlook, improved relationship, new insight, possibility of effecting a change. |
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Before you decide to offer criticism, think about the positives of the situation. Will people feel better about improving themselves, a process, or a plan? Do they generally seem to want feedback and make an effort at self-improvement? Will your offering this criticism actually improve your relationship with them? What new insights might you both gain from a frank discussion? What are the possibilities for improvements in how you both interact and accomplish your work goals? |
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