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Tip 586: Rehearse your criticism. |
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Take the time to plan what you're going to say: Organize your comments. Decide how to word them. Practice the proper tone. Decide where and when you're going to conduct the discussion. Remind yourself that the reason for giving the criticism is not to hurt others, but to help them correct performance. Focus on the fact that after the criticism, both you and the other person will be better off for having made the improvement. |
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As with any other difficult task, preparation boosts your confidence and your effectiveness. |
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Tip 587: Select the appropriate emotional timing. |
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Make sure neither you nor the receiver is angry, irritated, or impatient. You want to maximize the chance of catching the other person at a peak of emotional strength so he or she has the self-confidence, control, and motivation to accept your comments. |
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Your emotional state as criticizer is equally important for success. If you give criticism when you're angry, the receiver is likely to slough it off with "When she calms down, it'll blow over" or "She's just blowing this all out of proportion. I'll just lay low until she gets over it." Both giving and accepting criticism take emotional strength; find the peak time. |
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Tip 588: Select the proper "Real Time." |
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In addition to the emotional climate, timing also includes "real time." Giving criticism at the end of the day just before employees go home allows them time to regain composure overnight and minimizes the time lost for productive work after the discussion when they're upset over the criticism. |
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On the other hand, sometimes giving the criticism earlier in the day allows people opportunity to see and feel from your back-to-the-routine manner afterward that life will go on, that you intend to move on with current tasks, and that your relationship has not been altered substantially. In other words, they won't have time to brood; they must move on with their day's tasks and function around other people. |
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Know your audience and the potential impact on that person's recovery rate before deciding on the appropriate time of day. The most crucial aspect of "real time" is that your criticism is prompt enough to prevent the receiver from making another mistake. |
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Tip 589: Criticize in private. |
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Praise in public; criticize in private. Consider not only the actual time of the discussion away from others' ears, but also the surrounding circumstances |
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