|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 593: Criticize specifically, not generally. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
General criticism cannot be substantiated or corrected. Most often it is ignored. But the words hang there, festering. In identifying the specific things you want to correct in another's behavior, you improve your effectiveness several ways: |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
First, you gain credibility. When the receiver calls your hand on a sweeping generalization about her behavior and you can't offer immediate specifics to back up what you say, your criticism loses validity. Often the person dismisses what you say as "hogwash." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Second, you both automatically focus on concrete actions to improve the situation. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Third, the criticized person must define the behavior in the same way you do. For example, with a generalized criticism you might say: "Heidi, you just don't seem to care about your work." (You mean Heidi is frequently late, takes long lunch breaks, and never stays after hours to finish projects.) Heidi responds: "What do you mean I don't care? I even called in on my vacation last week to see if Jason had any questions." (Her interpretation of "care" is different.) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
To summarize: Specific criticism (1) forces the receiver to define acceptable behavior and performance, (2) focuses on concrete, corrective action, and (3) adds credibility to what you say. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 594: Criticize the viewpoint or the behavior, not the person. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Try: "I asked you to let me know if the report would be finished on time, and you did not notify me that it would be late." Not: "You're simply undependable when it comes to doing what you say you will." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Try: "I think you mishandled that customer situation. You didn't try to reschedule the appointment, and you didn't offer to deduct the shipping charges. You failed to offer either option and both are within your power." Not: "You seem scatter-brained. You don't think. You don't follow procedures." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Try: "You didn't let me know the equipment wasn't working properly and that you needed it repaired by next week." Not: "You're inconsiderate and uncooperative when it comes to supporting our department's projects." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
People can discuss viewpoints or behavior and verify facts; they can even verify interpretation of those facts. But they'll rarely agree to personal labels, much less agree to make a change. How, specifically, does someone become "less scatter-brained" or "more cooperative"? Can they do that by next Friday? |
|
|
|
|
|