|
|
|
|
|
|
|
doubt, try asking the person directly about intentions: "Did you simply want me to know how you felt about me, or did you want us to try to work out the problem?" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
One caution: Some people are inept at offering criticism. They will choose the wrong words, become emotional, and focus on the problem rather than the solution only because they are incompetent. You'll have to use your best judgment in determining their intentions. Don't attribute to them ill will when their problem is ignorance. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 621: Give people an invitation to criticize only if you mean it. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you routinely ask for criticism, don't be surprised if you get it. "Just let me know if you'd prefer me to do this another way" or "Am I preparing the report in the most useful format? If not, let me know" or "If you see any problems with the way I plan to tackle this upcoming meeting, give me a call.'' When you ask for comments, people rarely point out what you're doing right. Instead, they feel compelled to tell you what you could do better, quicker, faster, easier, or smarter. So if you don't really want criticisms or suggestions, don't give others a license to dump them on you. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 622: Consider the setting before you decide how to respond. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you're in a large group when someone offers a critical comment, you may decide to let the remark pass so as not to make a scene and prolong attention on the issue. Quickly state the facts or your position, and change the subject. If you're in a situation where the outcome could be crucial to your future (such as in a staff meeting with your boss), you may want to take more time to correct a false impression and state your position on an issue, or give the facts about what actually happened. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If, however, you're one on one with someone and have the liberty of time and privacy, you can discuss the criticism thoroughly until you come to some resolution. Control and conscious choice are the keys to an effective response. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 623: Arrange to have criticism leveled on your own turf. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you know there's a problem when the boss or coworker says he or she wants to "talk to you about something," suggest your own office. You can |
|
|
|
|
|