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of the situation, which may or may not be the same. For example: "I don't see my behavior in that light. I know there can be different perceptions in situations like this. Here's my view of what happened . . ." or "I think we probably have a fundamental difference of opinion about how those situations should be handled. I'll keep your comments in mind next time." In either case, you have accepted, not interrupted or argued with, the criticizer's comments. |
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What if the other person's perceptions are blatantly wrong? You have a third option for agreeing: Agree with the person's right to an opinion. State something like this: "I understand that you think my strategy with this client is wrong. You want me to try to submit a proposal for the equipment and you think I've been dragging my feet. I disagree that a formal proposal is the best way to handle this account, and I've given you my reasons. But I accept your opinion. Which way would you like me to handle ityour way or mine?" |
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Finally, you can agree in principle. That is, maybe the other person has compared your performance to an abstract ideal that no one could meet. You can agree in principle on the goals or the desirability of certain action or performance in a perfect world. For example, someone has criticized how you have handled an irate customer. You might respond: "Well, I agree that with signs posted about these policies, our customers would be more likely to accept our position about needing a deposit" or "Well, I agree we shouldn't let a customer leave angry" or "You're right. It would have been better if I had thought to remind the customer that his company had paid these deposits in the past." |
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Agreeing with the other person's criticism or agreeing that the other person has a right to express a critical/opposing opinion is a powerful response. |
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Tip 641: Ask for thinking time. |
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If you're unsure whether you agree or disagree with someone's criticism, ask for time to think: "I understand what you've said, but I'm not sure I agree with your interpretation of the facts. I'd like some time to think over what you've said. Could we talk again later this afternoon?" This reflection time will allow you to present your own position in a much more thoughtful, logical way and will add credibility to your response because it's not a "gut reaction" but one that you've considered fully. Such a discussion also minimizes the chance for escalation. |
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Tip 642: Express regret about the results of a situation. |
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Even though you may not be the cause of something the criticizer mentions, you can always express regret for the situation. "I know you were expecting |
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