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want to talk about it?" "It seems you've had to redo these reports several months nowdo you want to brainstorm ways that we might improve the layout to begin with?" "Hey, if you want to talk about the issue, let me know. I can be all ears this afternoon." Such nudges let people know you're available to offer feedback; but if they don't take you up on your offer, keep quiet. |
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Tip 656: Identify what kind of advice the other person wants. |
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If you can't tell what the other person wants by how he or she introduces a subject or asks a question, ask a few questions yourself. Does the person want to: |
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know how you did something? |
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know what you've observed others do well with good results? |
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hear key information and facts? |
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hear suggested options of which he or she is unaware? |
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get help with brainstorming alternatives? |
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double-check his or her reasoning? |
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Asking specifically what the other person wants will save you both much time and produce better results. |
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Tip 657: Remember the purpose of advice/feedback. |
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Your most important function may be to stimulate thinking and help formulate options. You provide a sounding boardlistening for gaps in logic, missing information, tangent trails, or dangers lurking out of sight along paths a person has decided to take. |
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Being a good coach or adviser is often like being a good journalistyou listen for and investigate the what, who, when, where, why, how, and how much. If the advice seeker has provided all these answers, then your job will be to expand the answers, rethink the answers, or think of more suitable ones. Often, you as coach play the part of professor guiding graduate students in their doctoral research, asking questions that will lead the students down new paths of investigation rather than answering questions and closing doors in their faces. Be careful to keep the other person's motives and goals, not your own, in mind. Otherwise, the feedback will be useless. |
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