|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 66: Express your opinions as statements, not questions. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Don't you think that restaurant is too expensive?" will likely get a response such as, "No, not really." The other person will continue with his or her plans, and you'll feel as though your opinion was ignored. Instead respond to the statement of plans with, "I think that restaurant is too expensive." Then other people can agree or disagree, but at least they'll understand you were stating an opinion to be considered. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 67: Identify your own feelings, needs, and opinions so you can permit others to do the same. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you're in the habit of suppressing what you really want to say, denying yourself the opportunity to stand up for your rights, squashing your opinions for the sake of harmony, then gradually you'll lose your ability to read other people's verbal cues. You'll lose your sense of listening between the lines. Claim your rights and need to express yourself so you can feel comfortable when others claim those same rights with you. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 68: Own your statements. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Put yourself into your wording. State opinions as if you own them: |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
Not: "This food isn't good." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
But: "This butter tastes rancid to me." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Not: "You get so hyper about money." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
But: "I think you get supercritical about how I spend money." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Not: "That office next door is too loud." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
But: "I find it hard to concentrate with that hammering going on next door." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Not: "Just drop the subject, please." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
But: "I don't think we're getting anywhere with this discussion. What do you say if we just table this discussion for another week?" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Not: "Relax, there's no problem." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
But: "I think you should relax until next week when you know for sure if there's a problem." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
When you stake a claim to an opinion, people pay respect. |
|
|
|
|
|