|
|
|
|
|
|
|
root in a person's life over a long period of time. Values form the basis for how people look at other people, at work, at ideas, and at life in general. If you consider a situation or action immoral or offensive, that judgment is based on values and you will not likely be satisfied with a compromise. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Once you have categorized the kind of conflict staring you in the face, you'll have a clear understanding about the effort involved in resolving it and the potential for a successful resolution. Some will be quick; some will be never-ending. Plan your future actions and reactions accordingly. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 758: Surface masked hostility. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Recognize passive-aggressive behavior when you see it and develop a strategy to deal with it. The term passive-aggressive originated with Army psychiatrist Colonel William Menninger during World War II. Now it's tossed around in the workplace as frequently as faxes. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The label refers to hostility in disguise. The passive-aggressive person promises to represent you at a board meeting and shows up unprepared with the wrong slides. The passive-aggressive person tosses out little barbs meant "as a joke." The passive-aggressive person agrees to work late one evening to get out the last-minute orders but then has a headache and has to go home. The passive-aggressive person "misunderstands" your directions about the proposal he didn't think the client needed anyway. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
All of these are attempts to buck authority when the person doesn't have the courage to do so openly. Only when you identify the recurring behavior can you deal with it effectively. Once you understand that the attitudenot the "reasons" and excuses given in various situationsis the problem, then you can cope with it as with any other confrontation about attitude. Unfortunate "mishaps" surrounding the events are only symptoms, not the problem. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 759: Examine the payoffs in continuing conflict. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Psychologists have counseled parents for years that sometimes children misbehave because negative attention is better than no attention. The same can be said of adult conflict. Ask yourself what you or the other person has to gain for refusing to end a running conflict. Does a continual uproar in the department create excitement for the group? Does the conflict feed someone's ego? Does the conflict serve as someone's excuse for not getting a task done or done well? Once you know what the payoff is, you can decide if you can meet the needego gratification, excitement, entertainment, or successin a less emotionally draining or disruptive way. |
|
|
|
|
|