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information comes to the forefront, move to a solution-centered discussion. Devise alternatives. Identify methods. Make comparisons and contrasts. Evaluate the efforts or costs. Propose solutions. Avoid analysis paralysis. In short, move from "study" to "act." |
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Tip 768: Focus on the goal rather than the obstacle. |
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When conflict creeps in, both sides tend to lose sight of what they have in commonto maintain a relationship, the profitability of the business, the success of a project, the cohesiveness of the team, the winning of an award, the welfare of their family or friends. Take time out to focus on the goal rather than the obstacle to that goal. |
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Tip 769: Put the issue of "Winning" or "Losing" aside. |
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The concept of winning and losing comes from sports. Conflict is not a sport. Dismiss the idea from your mind and focus on meaningful decisions. Do I want to compromise my needs to get some of them met? Do I want to help all involved get our needs met? The only competition should be within yourselfto control your words and actions in such a way that you get what you need. The other person does not have to lose for you to win. |
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Tip 770: Create alternatives. |
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Define together what success will look like to all the people involved. Then work backward. Can we change the deadline? Can we get more help? Can we expand or cut the budget? Can we change the specifications? Can we alter the process? Can we break things into more "doable" chunks? Can we get more people involved? Can we get fewer people involved? Can we reverse the steps required? Can we redefine the problem altogether? Can we use different criteria to judge the resolution? |
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Try brainstorming. Put everybody involved into a big room and withhold food until you come up with a resolution. Generate ideas as fast as possible. Piggyback each other's ideas. No evaluation. No questioning the ideas for clarification. No holds barred. Just think and record what's said. After you've generated all the ideas time will allow, go back and evaluate them one by one. Cross off the ones that don't meet your criteria and prioritize those left. Start with the alternative that looks the most promising and work your way down the list. The secret of conflict resolution is creativity. If you don't think creatively, consider turning the problem over to someone who does. |
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