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Tip 786: Leave exaggerations for TV sitcoms. |
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When you exaggerate, the other person will always ignore the bigger issue and prove your exaggeration incorrect. You'll wind up arguing about the misstatement rather than the issue. Examples: "They never let us know when they're going to take the computers down." "These overnight-express shipping charges are putting us in the poorhouse." "You always find fault with every suggestion." These statements will generate responses like: "Yes, they do notify us. They sent out a memo last Tuesday that we'd be down two hours." "I don't think 68 dollars a month for shipping is putting us in the poorhouse.'' "Wrong. I don't find fault. I liked your suggestion about the flextime." With statements like these, you'll find yourself off the subject and onto defending the exaggeration. |
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Tip 787: Don't act incredulous. |
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The incredulous person greets the other person with a quizzical look of disbelief and shock at the "stupidity" of what has happened. Examples: "And you thought a phone call would solve the problem?" "So you left the car in the middle of the driveway so everybody would have to pull around it or hit it?" "Why in the world would you believe that?" "What makes you think that would work?" |
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Most people can tolerate disagreement when they have to, but most snap when it comes to humiliation. The amused grin, the mocking raised eyebrows, the outright laughter cut a person to the quickeven those who have right on their side. |
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Tip 788: Don't "Dismiss" people. |
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This "mood" pervades the atmosphere of conflict when one person makes it clear that talk will no longer helpthat the details "no longer matter" and "won't change things," that the "mess" has gone too far for you to bother correcting, that what you're asking is totally out of the question and should not even be entertained with a discussion. Such a "dismissal" can be conveyed through words, gestures, or body language. We all know it when we see it. |
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Tip 789: Don't question someone's integrity. |
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People can handle a comment like, "You should have submitted the report last week with the information available to you at the time." They can't handle: |
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