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Tip 80: Read others' cues and clues to determine the "So What?" |
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When people make statements about "they" or "other people" when presenting a sorry state of affairs, you may be puzzled as to the significance. Why are they telling you? To determine the answer, use "so what?" probes: ''What does all this mean to you and your job?" or "So how does this policy affect you personally?" or "So, are you concerned personally about the results?" With your probing question, you're giving them "permission" to be open with you and get personal about their feelings or concerns. Then you can personalize your response and be appropriately empathetic. |
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Tip 81: Check out hunches when someone denies intentions. |
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People often reveal things they don't intend to reveal. Then, when you question them directly about whether they feel this way or that way, they become vulnerable, cautious, and guarded. If you tip your hand with a comment such as, "Are you saying you think Bill was wrong in firing that consultant?" the other person often becomes suddenly aware that the feeling he or she intended to hide has become transparent. People will deny such sentiments if you push them. Before you tip your hand, check out hunches by asking less direct questions to verify the person's true intentions with the original statement. |
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Tip 82: Challenge generalizations. |
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"The marketing people never consider the credit risks involved when they make those offers." "Management doesn't give a whit about the long-term effects on our families." "Customers won't pay extra for a feature like that." Always dig for the basis in reality. Collect the specifics as evidence before you accept the generalization as truth. |
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Conventional wisdom can be dangerous to your future if you accept these axioms at face value. Besides, they're often contradictory: "He who hesitates is lost" versus "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." "In the counsel of many is wisdom" versus "You can never please everybody." "Don't make waves" versus "Be a risk taker." Don't accept truisms out of hand simply because they've been around a long time. Any truth has its exception. |
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