|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
WOMAN: Didn't John have some concerns about the terms? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
MAN: He cleared those up in the last meeting. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
WOMAN: Do you think we should just forget about the staffing priorities since this new computer purchase will eat up all our cash this quarter? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
MAN: I'm sensing maybe you're not sure the computers are a good decision. Do you still have some reservations there? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
WOMAN: Well, yes, . . . I do. I think that . . . |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
With any objections in the open, you can deal with them more effectively. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Women push for details generally for three reasons: to show concern about a person or situation, to vicariously participate in an experience or conversation, and to verify assumptions and check for accuracy. Men tend to gather details just long enough to get the big-picture message and then dump them as trivial, not worth remembering. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The results: (1) When men don't ask about or share details of a situation, women sometimes think they don't care about the people involved. (2) Women sometimes think that men intend to be secretive and distant. (3) Women sometimes doubt men's conclusions because they fear men have missed some of the important details. (4) Men sometimes think women "waste time" on the details rather than get to the main point. (5) Men think some details are irrelevant to their conclusions. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 898 (for women): Get to the point in meetings. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If a discussion of the details is not germane to the point in a team meeting, be wary of men's impatience about that issue. State your big-picture assessment and offer the details as an option. If no one solicits the details for your conclusions, omit them and save yourself the trouble. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 899 (for women): Ask for details to verify meaning. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In "sticky" situations, continue to probe for details to verify meanings and determine accurate conclusions. For example, when you're trying to verify the state of mind of an unhappy customer, dig out the details about the conversation you missed in order to double-check your sales plans. To echo Ross Perot: The devil is in the details. |
|
|
|
|
|