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news, sportsgenerally topics not directly related to themselves. Other subjects about "routine" matters may, in men's estimation, not warrant conversational effort. |
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Results: (1) Women toss out conversational topics and men respond only minimally or not at all. As a result, women sometimes think men do not care about them personally. (2) Some men may think women "talk too much" about "trivial" subjects. |
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Tip 904 (for women): Continue to signal men about what's important enough for conversation. |
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Let men know you expect a response when you pose a question or make a comment by the phrasing you choose. |
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Tip 905 (for women): State outright that you are interested in conversation just for the sake of conversation and connection. |
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Make a direct statement that you want conversation in the same way you might state that you want an opinion on a staff problem. Example: "Have you got a minute for a cup of coffee? I need to talk to somebody besides my computer for a change. Tell me about the project you're working on." |
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Tip 906 (for men): Expand your repertoire of conversational topics to include "the Routine." |
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If conversation is good just for the sake of the camaraderie it generates, then any topic is as good as another. Don't pressure yourself into thinking every topic you introduce or every response you make has to be profound. Routine will do. The act of talking may be most important to your colleague or customer. |
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Tip 907 (for men): Explain your desire to "Connect" despite lack of conversation. |
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If you simply can't think of information to share or appropriate responses to a woman's comments, say so directly but offer encouragement in the process: "I'm enjoying listening to your account of the meeting. Tell me more" or "I'm talked out, but don't let that stop you. If you've got time, I'd really like to hear how your project turned out." Then listen. |
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