|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 927 (for men): Learn to self-disclose nonthreatening, nonconfidential information or toss the question back to the woman and show interest in her response. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you prefer not to share what you think or feel personally about an issue, offer a broad, general response: "Most people I've talked with do support the policy changes. What do you yourself think about the plans announced yesterday?" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Men tend to hold the person who has the information, skill, or know-how in a superior position. Information or skill equates to power or authority. As boys grow up, they use one-up statements to gain status: "Well, my big brother knows how to tie that kind of knot." "My dad knows how to get free tickets to the game." "My uncle knows all the senators by their first names.'' To a man's way of thinking, having "inside" access or information puts someone in a position of power and respect. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Not necessarily so with women. As children, girls grow up gaining approval by being helpful, by getting pats on the head for knowing the answers. Therefore, women like to give information to be helpful, and they assume everyone else does also. Women do not necessarily equate having information or a key skill with power or status. When others offer help to a woman she feels valued or lovednot necessarily insulted or inferior. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Results: (1) Men often resist having to ask for help or information. (2) Women become impatient and resentful when men cause delays or problems by resisting help. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 928 (for women): Respect men's needs to solve their problems independently of others. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
They need to feel self-sufficient. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 929 (for women): Offer help in a casual, offhanded way. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If the man refuses to ask for directions when you're driving somewhere, toss out your own experience: "Last year when our group drove up to this conference, we got lost because Highway 244 has so many detours. What |
|
|
|
|
|