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Tip 933 (for men): Interpret sympathy as a sign of caring rather than humiliation. |
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Consider it salve, not salt, in the wounds. |
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TO BE LIKED OR RESPECTED? |
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Given a choice between being liked or respected, most women would prefer to be liked. It's not that they don't enjoy admiration; it's just that being thought open, caring, and lovable score higher. Women also find it easier to work with people they like personally. On teams and with other projects, they work to build consensus. Their conversations sound like the following: "So what do you think, Miriam?" "Well, we certainly agree on that point." "You're certainly right about that." "Let's see where we can get together here.'' |
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Men like to be liked too. But being liked has little to do with gaining respect for their ideas and competing for the dollar or door prize. Men can argue and shout at one another over terms of a proposal, and then relax together on the golf course a half hour later. They are comfortable with competition. They vie for respect by outproducing, outperforming, and outthinking others. Their conversations sound like the following: "Well, I don't see it that way." "You're dead wrong on that point." "We'll never agree on that issue." "I disagree wholeheartedly. Okay, so you do it your way, and I'll do it mine." |
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Results: (1) Women hate not being liked. (2) Men hate not being respected. |
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Tip 934 (for women): Learn to swim in a competitive environment. |
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Men often equate your willingness to compete for your idea, project, or budget as commitment to it. If you don't fight for your work or ideas, you weaken them. |
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Tip 935 (for women): Learn to work with people you don't necessarily like. |
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Separate personality from performance. If necessary, keep reminding yourself how much you're making per hour to work with the other person. |
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Tip 936 (for men): Value cooperation. |
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Diversity contributes great value in the workplace. Prefer to gain through cooperation what might disappear in a competitive atmosphere. |
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