|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 31. Confess your weaknesses. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 32. Keep in mind that being logical may be ineffective. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 33. Visualize the end, and then construct the means. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 34. Pay attention to the meta-message. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 35. Don't hide behind your words to avoid hearing the message. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 36. Match your tone to your intentions. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 37. Avoid a patronizing tone. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 38. Don't talk down to peopleeven kids. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 39. Avoid moralizing. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 40. Hear silence as it's intended. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 41. Recognize the implications of what's not said. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 42. Use silence to your advantage. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 43. Eliminate contradictory body language and words. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 44. Check for the hidden agenda before you bite hook, line, and sinker. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 45. Believe body language over words. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 46. Don't polarize people. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 47. Voice your disagreement after, not before, asking the other person's reasons for his or her opinion. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 48. Bring up a "touchy" subject only with a warning. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 49. Use indirectness to test the waters before diving in. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 50. Avoid dogmatic pronouncements. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 51. Consider "I" messages to make others less defensive. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 52. Substitute and statements for but statements. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 53. Respond rather than react. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 54. Distinguish between defending ideas and being defensive. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 55. Don't make arguing an "ego trip." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 56. Dig for the bigger problem beneath arguments about trivialities. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 57. Be firm, but not inflexible. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 58. Adopt a problem-solving orientation when presenting a problem. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 59. Define things in terms of cooperation rather than competition. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 60. Recognize unanswerable questions. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 61. Don't rain/on people's parades. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 62. Frame the positive angle. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 63. Use positive rather than negative words. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 64. Place positive statements before neutral ones. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 65. Express your opinions as opinions rather than irrefutable facts. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 66. Express your opinions as statements, not questions. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 67. Identify your own feelings, needs, and opinions so you can permit others to do the same. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 68. Own your statements. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 69. Say what's on your mind without shifting to a hostile tone. |
|
|
|
|
|