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After the salesman gave up and stepped onto the elevator, the wife turned to her husband and asked, "Why didn't you answer him?" The husband mumbled, "If I'd have named a restaurant, he'd have wanted to know how to get there. If I'd have told him how to get there, he wouldn't have understood and I'd have had to go with him. And if I'd have had to go with him, you would have been left here alone. And if you'd been left alone, you would have griped and complained. And you know how I hate a griping, nagging wife. We'd have been in divorce court before you know it, and I couldn't bear the thought of you on the street being picked up by the likes of that salesman." |
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Reading the signals from those people isn't difficult; simply respect their wishes. |
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Tip 197: Think twice about using, small talk on the telephone. |
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Your timing for small talk is more, not less, crucial when you phone someone. When you're face to face, the other person can signal you with closed body language that he or she is busy, distracted, or involved in an intense conversation with someone else and prefers not to be disturbed. Not so with the telephone. If you've placed the call, you're in control and you may be intruding. Therefore, don't assume that people expect, or welcome, a little chitchat before you get down to business. |
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Picture yourself in your office: Your assistant brings in express mail from a customer who has rejected your latest contract. A meeting that you're leading starts in five minutes and you're still working on the agenda. A colleague has just placed a note in your in-basket requesting to talk to you about Geraldine who's resigning at the end of the day. Your phone rings and a colleague says, "So, Larry, how's it going? The team didn't look so good last weekend. What do you think happened?" |
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Remember you have a one-up position when placing a call, and the other person can't make a quick getaway. The timing can be devastating to your reputation. Know where you're going with the call and be prepared to get there. If the other person sends you a cue that small talk's in order, you can always change course and accommodate the lighter mood. |
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Tip 198: Risk being the first to say hello. |
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You can narrow your odds of being snubbed if you look for someone with open body language and a timid expression, somebody "in between" conversations, or somebody who makes eye contact and returns your smile. Somebody has to risk rejection and it might as well be you as the next person. |
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