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Tip 251: Avoid editorializing. |
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On controversial topics, avoid stating a dogmatic opinion if you don't know the other person well. Dousing someone's emotions on their pet peeve or cause is a good way to get burned. |
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Tip 252: Accept specific compliments with sincerity. |
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If you're like most people, you feel a little uncomfortable with a compliment. It's not that you don't appreciate the compliment; it's that you feel "on the spot" in front of others. There's elegance in a straightforward response: "Thank you very much. It's nice of you to call attention to that" or "Thanks. I'm glad you noticed" or ''I appreciate your saying so" or "Wow. You made my day." "Thanks for commenting on that. I try very hard to X." |
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Tip 253: Prepare self-effacing comebacks for frequent, vague, or insincere compliments. |
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Some compliments are immediately recognizable as "lines," or even as insincere flattery. Responding to them with sincerity makes you feel dupedas if you didn't know the difference. |
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A more comfortable response is a light, even self-effacing comeback. An acquaintance asked me one day: "Are you an ardent feminist? If not, then may I tell you you're gorgeous." Response: "Thanks. I write comments like that down in my journal every night. Then when I get angry at my husband, I just pull 'em out and consider my other options." |
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Tip 254: Gossip at your own great risk. |
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How to define gossip? People who say they don't gossip will admit talking about others' lives. Rare is the person who never passes on a fact or commendation about another's achievements, work, family, attitude, or character. |
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Why are people fascinated by gossip? It's a way of cutting others down to size, of showing up hypocrisy in those in places of fame or great fortune. On the beneficial side, it's a way of sharing common values and affirming with the listener that we feel the same way about a situation. Gossip also keeps us up to date and protects us. What we don't know about a pending merger may hurt us. Others gossip just to fill the conversational lull or to gain attention for having the "inside scoop." |
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