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What makes gossip negative is intention and tone. Talking about versus talking against. Negative informationor negative intentions with neutral information. Avoid passing on hurtful information, information that you would not want passed on if you were in the other person's shoes. And remember that all people may not be as "open" as you are. Even if the gossip is "good" gossip, be sure it's truth, not rumor. |
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Tip 255: Stop gossip without offending the spreader. |
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The reply that cuts gossips short is, "Oh, I didn't know that. He always speaks so highly of you." How's a person to continue after that line? It's effective in stopping almost any negative comment, but it feels like a slap in the face to the person talking. Try a gentler approach like the following. Gossip: "I hear Bill Barnes really gave you guys in Audit a mouthful today." Response: "He was upset, yes. But we worked through it. So, what's new with you?'' Gossip: "Did you hear that Tseuko didn't get the promotion?" Response: "No, I didn't. I guess I'll have to ask her the reasons myself. You know how rumors go." Gossip: "I hear their company is about to go under." Response: "Rumors run rampant, don't they? I guess we'll hear the real truth sooner or later." |
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Tip 256: Squelch complaints. |
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Even if others happen to agree with you, they'll notice your poor taste in complaining about the room, the food, the guests, the entertainment, the lack of planning, or anything else about the circumstances or events. You'll appear to be ungrateful for being included. |
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Tip 257: Don't hard-sell when the purpose is chitchat. |
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Don't take advantage of people who have come to relax and get to know others on a personal level by turning your time with them into a sales call. Yes, a brief overview as a teaser of what you do, maybe. But don't put them on the spot for a further commitment unless they open the door and very overtly invite you in. |
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Tip 258: When you meet two VIPs at once, don't focus on one and ignore the other. |
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Although one will be flattered at your obvious attention, he or she will have to be the one to bring the buddy into the conversation and will feel awkward in doing so. If you ignore either, both will feel uncomfortable. |
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