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2. For parents not on friendly terms, joint custody and joint decision-making mean more room for disagreement and continuation of the conflict. These parents are more likely to return to court than the parents who have one decision-maker (sole custody). |
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3. Children who tend to be easy-going by nature can adapt well to joint physical custody. Children who do poorly with constant change, have difficulty adjusting to new situations, and seem to need a great deal of stability and security in their lives do poorly with joint physical custody. |
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Determining the Primary Residence |
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The parent who has been most involved in the daily care of the children should provide their primary home. Traditionally, this has been the mother. In growing numbers, although still small, some fathers have been providing most of the care either by choice or by default. |
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Following is a checklist of routine caregiving tasks that will help you decide which parent should maintain the primary residence for the children. Be honest with yourself when filling out the checklist. Your children will benefit, and you will be more comfortable with the outcome. |
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| Task | Mother | Father | | 1. Provides meals | _____ | _____ | | 2. Holds and comforts children | _____ | _____ | | 3. Changes diapers | _____ | _____ | | 4. Dresses the children | _____ | _____ | | 5. Bathes the children | _____ | _____ | | 6. Plays with the children | _____ | _____ | | 7. Takes children to the doctor | _____ | _____ | | 8. Stays home with sick children | _____ | _____ | | 9. Reads stories to children | _____ | _____ | | 10. Takes children to school or activities | _____ | _____ | | 11. Puts children to sleep | _____ | _____ | | 12. Communicates more closely with children | _____ | _____ |
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(table continued on next page) |
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