|
|
|
|
|
|
|
As often happens when people marry young, Celia and Jerry grew apart. Jerry was able to deal with that, but the thought of losing Celia's familythe only real family he hadleft Jerry bereft. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Love Everlasting:When You're Crazy About Your In-Laws |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In this case, things worked out well. Celia's family continued to consider Jerry an insider, even after their daughter remarried and had children with her second husband. No, Jerry was not a fixture on Christmas Eve, but through phone calls, cards, and occasional lunches, he managed to sustain contact with this surrogate family through the next two decades of his life. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Of course, this is not always the case. Often, divorce is bitter, and family members may take sides. When push comes to shove, it's hard to find a father- or mother-in-law who will side with his or her child's spouse. When Ursula left Jonathan in the dust for his business partner, all Ursula's mother could say was, Jonathan had it coming. Even though she and Jonathan had once been close, she now refused to take his phone calls. Of course Ursula left him, she liked to say, he was just dull. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Jonathan's mother, for her part, was livid at Ursula and her extended family. She ate my son for breakfast, was one of her favorite phrases. Another: She threw him out with the trash. She told anyone who would listen that Ursula had a personality deficita disorder, reallyconferred by a poor upbringing. God only knew how her grandchildren, now in Ursula's custody, would survive. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Unfortunately, when two people divorce, they don't just divorce each other, they divorce their mutual families, too. Often, there's no love lost between an ex-spouse and his or her in-laws, but when relations have been intimate, complications abound. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In general, it's virtually impossible, to sustain relations with your ex's family exactly as they were before. Even Jerry, a beloved son and brother figure, had to lower his expectations. Only by pulling back and giving his in-laws space to form bonds with Celia's new spouse, in fact, was he able to make those relationships last. |
|
|
|
|
|
