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Remember, it's easier to feel initial attraction than to stick it out through thick and thin. If a relationship is going to work, you must be able to solve some of life's problems together. You must also have respect and admiration for the other person. If the relationship is not headed in that direction, you might be making a poor choice. |
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You Thought You Never Could: Trusting Again. |
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Once burned, twice shy, so the saying goes. After the one person with whom you have shared your most intimate moments, thoughts, and feelings now looks at you with cold, hard eyes as if those moments never existed, you are being asked by friends and family to trust again. But how? you think. How can I even trust myself to choose someone who will not walk out on me again? How can I let down my defenses and take another risk when I am most vulnerable? |
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We are not saying that trust will be easy, especially if you were the unfortunate victim of an extramarital affair. But no matter why you were divorced, here are some suggestions and thoughts that might help you trust again: |
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1. Reflect for quite a while on any repeated patterns of negative relationships you have had. |
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2. Take responsibility for your own part in the death of your marriage. |
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3. When you meet someone you like, give that person a chance to show who they really are. |
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4. It's okay to hold on to some defenses until you are entirely comfortable with the new person. |
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5. Give yourself enough time to mourn the loss of your marriage and enough breathing space to heal. After you get to know yourself without your mate, you will feel rejuvenated and will be willing to take some small risks again. |
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