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Indeed, for such couples discussion on any topic from the children to the brand of dog food may erupt into a negative and angry emotion. These people will continually make destructive remarks about each other, or just bring up the past, states Dr. Baris. In therapy with them, you see this intense negativity and anger just pouring out. |
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But what if children are involved? |
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The studies show that whether or not parents stay married is less important than whether they engage in fighting or conflictand whether or not they drag the children in. The critical factor in the ultimate psychological health of a child is the degree of conflict in the environment, Dr. Baris explains. |
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In other words: Don't keep your marriage together for the children, especially if that entails exposing them to constant conflict and wrath. It's better for your children if you divorce amicably than if you stay together and at war. |
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Divorce often means relinquishing the creature comforts that have defined your life in the past. Families who lived in the 'burbs as a unit now must sell the house, leave the neighborhood, and disperse out to harsher, economically sparer realms. Divorce means divesting the accoutrements of a life shared together and starting out againdiminished in strength and number, and alone. The death of a marriage inspires, among other emotions, anger, grief, and fear. |
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Saving Your Marriage: What Does It Take? |
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Your marriage is at the brink of dissolution. You and your spouse have lost trust and faith in each other; your mutual anger is so palpable that you can no longer go out as a couple without breaking into a verbal sparring match or an out-and-out fight. Past hurts and |
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